Newtown who dis? Dinner, Mini Golf & Drinks

Every time the Date Knight heads into Newtown, a plethora of new places have blown into town faster than you can say Monorail, Monorail, Monorail.

The latest Newtown attraction is The Simpsons inspired mini golf venue called Holy Moly. So, the Date Knight jumped on the Monorail (actually it was an Uber) and decided to check out what all the fuss was about.

Dinner @ The Bach Eatery or Lentil As Anything in Newtown

The Date Knight literally stumbled into The Bach Eatery by chance (rookie error; forgot to book at Holy Moly and had time to kill) and was pleasantly surprised by what was on offer.

The food was enjoyable, the service was exemplarity and the Aperol Spritz went down faster than the Date Knight’s Ten Network share portfolio 😐

Get to The Bach Eatery early to enjoy Koa Hour, featuring $5 beers, $12 cocktails and $25 bottles of wine. Therefore, give it a nudge on these drink specials to ensure you have a sufficient buzz before tackling Holy Moly.

Alternatively, if you are in the midst of a #ShreddingForStereo phase, you can enjoy a healthy vegetarian feed next door at the aptly named Lentil As Anything. At this unique venue, you pay what you think the meal is worth.

If you decide to go to Lentil As Anything on a FIRST DATE (and your date hasn’t discovered your thriftiness yet), remember the wise words from Admiral Ackbar, “It’s a Trap.”

These words will ring in your ears as you hand over $50 for something you wanted to pay $20 for.

Mini golf @ Holy Moly in Newtown

Holy Moly is a mini golf course, pub and kinda-club all morphed into one. This combo makes it a truly unique experience and a great place for a date.

If you head to Holy Moly on a Friday or Saturday night be prepared for the line ride….. that’s the ride where you wait in line for long periods of time. Below are some icebreakers to use between the entertaining mini golf holes;

  • Which actor played the role of the evil nursing home villain in the movie Happy Gilmore?
  • Finish the chorus of this famous song; I wanna kiss you all over…..
  • Which fast food franchise does Happy Gilmore do a commercial for?

In case you didn’t notice, these icebreakers are all Happy Gilmore related and this is not an ice-breaking exercise, it’s actually a test. If your date hasn’t seen Happy Gilmore, it might be time to re-evaluate if you and your date are meant to be!

Waiting in line isn’t your thing? The Date Knight suggests heading to Holy Moly on a School Night, where you will have more time to tap, tap, tap it in.

Remember to BOOK! If you haven’t booked, do it now.

Drinks @ Earl’s Juke Joint in Newtown

Is there a Betta speakeasy in Sydney? To find this elusive venue, look for the Betta Meats sign pictured below. This sign will explain the horrible pun at the start of this paragraph. I think I’ve over-explained that point. Moving on…

Betta Meats

From memory, which is a little Hazy Shade of Winter, the drinks were well priced and the tunes and vibe were quality. If you go to Earl’s Juke Joint, can you please post in the comments if the drinks were as cheap as the Date Knight remembers.

Earl’s Juke Joint serves rum and whiskey mixed with freshly squeezed apple like CBD institutions The Baxter Inn and Frankie’s Pizza.


Recommended days: Friday or Saturday night

Total date cost: Approx $180 total

Romantic rating: 3/5

Spiciness rating: 4/5


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